We talk, But do we listen?

I have been bothered lately about my relationship with my parents. It’s bugged me that every time I speak with them it’s always about something in relation to my life. There's just not enough effort to understand them at a deeper level, to learn about them, their life stories and perspectives.

I had to change that.

So when I asked my mom about her life as a child in a recent conversation, it definitely came out as an odd question. Deep down I felt quite selfish that I had never cared to ask earlier. I was keen to turn the page though.

She smiled at me with a slight hesitation to answer. I could tell she was caught off guard.

She gave me a short response, perhaps assuming I won’t care to know more. I insisted to know more. I genuinely wanted to learn. She gradually opened up. Started talking about her life, relationship with her parents, her school life.

Conversation found its flow.

The more she shared, I could see her face radiate a calm joy and appreciation at being heard. The more I learnt, the more connected I felt.

I felt liberated. Listening with real presence can do that.

Often our relationship with parents, the conversations we have with them are all from the prism of our own lives. We talk to them about our kids, our careers, our experiences but never ask them about their lives, their memories, their turning points.

We’re always scratching the surface. If you’re blessed to have parents in life, it’s time to have real conversations.

It’s never too late to show that we care!